i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just invented taco cereal.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
