Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
