My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
