they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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