He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is it fun? or sober?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
