Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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