You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
