It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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