Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize