I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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