a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
