We're facebook friends in real life
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
