nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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