so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
