she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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