even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
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People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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