Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
