I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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