things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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