I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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