Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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