I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize