I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
