Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
