when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
