Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
