just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
