I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
