I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
