I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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