have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
