just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
