Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
