well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
