She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I believe in your delicious
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
