Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
