Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
