one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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