took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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