You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
