I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Your cock deserves a montage
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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