put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
