he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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