there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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