Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
