i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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