he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
