I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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