We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
