i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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