threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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