he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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