In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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