haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Still dying that you shit outside
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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