hell yes lets make some ravioli
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
