I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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