I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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