I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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