woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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