I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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