the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i have herpe
just one?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
