oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
